Saturday, January 30, 2010


So, you know how, as you get older and accumulate friends, relationships and so forth, you stop being the architect of everything you do?

(Let's disregard the probability that you were never really independent - it was just an illusion that you allow to flatter your sense of self).

What happens is: you start having obligations. 'I've got to go to this thing because X has Y connection with A, B & C.' At first, they're small blips in an otherwise self-directed life. Then one day you turn around and notice: going to parties/things with people you barely know is your only social life.

Moreover, you realise you have known these people for a very long time and see them more regularly than people you're ostensibly closer to. Then you think: 'But I'm not actually close to any of them. These are just familiar faces in a room. I'm not even sure I like this room. I prefer the one at home. Just because I recognise these people doesn't mean we have anything to talk about. In fact, I think we exhausted our conversational reserves sixteen years ago, when we met. Oh God, I'm hungry. Better drink more. No, that's not a good idea. Too late.'

So what I'm saying is: does anyone else ever find themselves thinking: 'this is like going to a Christmas party for a job I left five years ago'?

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Welcome to my blog. I'm a freelance writer/journalist/researcher/editor. I write about education and ideas I've had for the Irish Times. I also research, write and edit for writers, publications and websites. Here I put things that tend not to fit anywhere else. Enjoy.

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